With Open Arms

I think I'm ready to embrace life. If you care to hear me out, then read on. Otherwise, don't mind me, if you know me well enough, I get these "High On Life" moods here and there so I try to take advantage of them and write down my positivity so I can read them again when I'm down.

Anyway, moving on.

I'm ready to move on to bigger and better things. Whether it's to replace old feelings, to forget about the past. I'm just so darn tootin' tired of this life that I wanna move on. I'm constantly struggling and fighting to be happy and I'm just ready to Just Be Happy.

I have amazing friends that will always be there for me. I've gained new friends that I'm just so happy about. I've spend my summer really well this year. All I need is someone to share my happiness and love with, but I know God has someone for me, I just have to wait REAAAALLLLLYYYY patiently for that person. I know it's gonna be worth it. I just have to keep doing what I'm good at, eliminate my shortcomings and weaknesses, and just go on. Keep fighting. I'm 26 years old. I don't want to be the last to get married, to be the oldest mom in a Parents-Teachers meeting. I wanna be a young urban professional.

And I'ma do just that.

One Month's Worth of Epiphany

First off, I need to blog more. It obviously keeps me sane.

• I've been working really great hours at my job, and I'm loving it! I actually thought it was awesome I had to work 3 9-hour days that one week. Uh-oh. Does this mean I'm starting to become a workaholic? I don't mind it by the way, because I love my job (as meager my wages are), and the people are really awesome. I like the fact that only a handful of women work there. No drama.

• My friend N and I have been having a blast going out every weekend for more almost two months now. It is frickin' awesome! We go to sketchy dance clubs, local bars, the city, gay clubs, 24hour diners, club openings, birthday parties. It is such a blast! Plus it's the ultimate distraction. It's starting to make my way into my pockets but I guess it's all good. I told him that we're starting to be like Will and Grace.. a sexless marriage. Haha.

• As much as I just LOVE going out and having fun, whenever I come home, I can't help but feel a little bit scared. While some people my age are starting to look towards the direction of settling down, I feel like I'm nowhere near that goal. People around me tell me that I'm perfectly fine where I am at in my life. Enjoy it while it lasts, I'm still young. I'm just scared. I feel like, this going out part of me is always gonna be me. Half of me tells me that it's okay because it's who I am, but the other half is guilty doing it, that I probably should outgrow this phase already. Then I think about wishing that one day, I'd wake up and I'd grow out of it, and it scares me even more. The way that I live now is the way that I know how to live. That probably sounds confusing, but it makes sense to me. I can't let go of something that's me, but I do wanna settle down someday, have kids, all that crap. Haha. I'm torn.

• N invited me to a coworker's birthday party, and I thought I'd feel out of place and shy (yes, I'm super shy around strangers). But this crows was a blast to hang out with! They were all in there early- to mid-thirties, so they're young enough to still have fun but also old enough to know better. I actually, couldn't wait to be around their age (although of course I just wanna be young forever haha) and be as awesome as they are. I read somewhere before, thirty is the new twenty. And it's so true. I agree 100%. I wish that my friends now will still be my friends when I'm thirty. Then life will be a blast.

J, if we end up being roommates, we're not going out every night, right? -N.

• In contrast, I went to yet another college-town party last night with my friend T. The first college-town party T invited me to was so dumb and stupid and reckless and pretty much pointless.. not to mention they were serving Keystone Light, for crying out loud. People were playing beer pong with a door propped on bar stools, smell of weed or whatever in the air, teenagers nursing their drinks of choice: shots, handles, cheap beer. A four-bedroom student housing had AT LEAST 30 in there. This time around, the place was A LOT more mellow, obviously 21 and over, and not as dumb. I was hesitant to go because of my previous experience, but I wanted to do it for my friend 'coz she's my yes-man, and I should be her yes-man too. :)

• I need to conquer my top priorities right now: fixing my car up, and getting a second job. I'm crossing my fingers that everything else will fall into place afterwards. So far life has been a blast, and I thank my friends, my family, and of course My Homie Up Top for that. :))

Old Friend.

About two weeks ago, my good friend Dioni, arrived in the US to work for about half a year. Obviously, this got me really excited as this is the closest I will have to home. We've been friends since high school and the last I've seen him was seven years ago. After finally settling down at his apartment in WI, we decided to meet up Chicago. It was really cool!! But embarrassingly so, I was a couple of hours late. What can I say, driving to the city from the suburbs on a holiday weekend (Taste of Chicago, Fourth of July) was not the best idea. When we met up, we just walked around downtown for a bit, took pictures with his friend and my friend.. until they have to catch the 840 train back home. It was a short time to catch up on each other's lives but There's still six months of that to do. Definitely plenty of time. :D

Quick Blog

My "home" situation has not been comfortable lately, and half the time I'm wishing I can't wait to move out. Check out my rant here.

Today is Chicago's Annual Gay Pride Parade!! And pardon my ignorance and I stand corrected for any wrong info.. but didn't NY pass same sex marriage in the last two days or something? It sure will be an even bigger party today at the parade! :)

The next few weekends are going to be really exciting!!

• Springfield day trip to visit the Lincoln Museum, and Lincoln's Tomb
• Summerfest
• Taste of Chicago
• Fourth of July
• Six Flags

Not to mention, I'm getting more hours at work! :))

For now, I should start getting ready for my busy day ahead.

Just Dance.

    So this is really frustrating. Lately, I've bombarded my life with anything dance. I've been obsessing with choreography videos by Kyle Hanagami, my friend updating her Twitter with her dance adventures, and movies about dance.
    When I was 7, my grandma insisted on signing me up for ballet classes but I wouldn't go for it because I wanted karate lessons. Ballet = Girls. Karate = Boys. So I ended up signed up for neither. Years later, here I am looking at dance classes at local dance academies or park districts around my area. I don't want competitive dancing. I just want to learn how to dance. I want to learn how tap, belly dancing (even though I'm sure I can't force my body to move like that), jazz, ballroom, and of course hiphop. Heck, I'll even give ballet a shot.. or Zumba. I just want to move my feet and dance.
    I'm a clubhead and sometimes I get frustrated because I really wish I can get clubbing out of my system. But I really love going out and dancing the night away. Granted, I would never bootydance with someone that's not my boyfriend, but still. I can't sing to save my soul, I can't model (which I really wanted to back in highschool), I can't act, I can't even play an instrument. But I know that I can follow rhythm. I'm not flexible, I can't do the splits or cartwheels but I swear with every dance bone in my body, I can dance.
    This obsession with wanting to learn how to dance increased after I had a Step Up movie marathon with my roommates a few weeks ago. So much so that "Good Dancer" has now been added to my ever-growing list of Guy Standards.
    Is that bad?

The truest expression of a people is in its dance and in its music.  Bodies never lie.  ~Agnes de Mille

     I need to do something significant. I'm going to dance. Hmmmm, where should I go?

The Best Monday Ever.

    I went to work today with nothing special in mind. All I was thinking was that if I can just get through today, I'll be set, because I have the next two days off. What do I find on my desk when I walk in the office?

A bunch of lovely and colorful flowers and balloons.. and a strawberry shortcake! Not only did this very sweet gesture from my coworkers make my day, it totally made my week! What a wonderful way to kick off my birthday week! All afternoon at work, I kept looking at the flowers and I couldn't stop smiling. I've never been given flowers by anyone other than a boyfriend. I gotta say, receiving flowers unexpectedly from someone that is expected to give you flowers and receiving flowers unexpectedy from the people you would least expect to do so.. well, they're both awesome feelings but it's all two different feelings. I'm still giddy from my little surprise. I guess, what makes it even giddier is the fact that my coworkers didn't think I was working on my actual birthday (which is three days from now) so they decided to give me an early birthday surprise.
    The best thing about it is that my birthday greetings have already started pouring in! I don't want to sound vain or anything, but birthdays are my absolute favorite holidays! Yes, they're holidays to me. It's the one day of the year when a.) I can get away with almost anything, b.) people are extra EXTRA nice to me, c.) I get to be the center of attention for a little bit, and d.) on the off-chance that people decide to be generous.. well, I get to unwrap presents! Oh, and one more thing, the most important one, e.) it's the one day of the year that I can hang out with all the people that I love all in one room.. or something like that.
    Anyway, that is all for now. I have to wake up extra early tomorrow for my downtown mission. Here's to hoping I have a rockin' adventure tomorrow!